The Gift Of Straying Away

Life is a constant game of losing yourself and getting back on track.

Every day it becomes clearer to me how there will never come a point in our lives when we’re ‘settled’ and can tick off all the things we had to achieve, so that now we get to just sit back and watch the show.  

Life is a constant flow. Things come and go. Your energy spikes up, then goes down. Your determination for certain things levels from time to time. Your vision gets a bit blurrier today, then clearer tomorrow.

Our environment changes every second. The people who are around us, their energy, our energy, the weather, the moon phases, and everything in between. Nothing is constant.

Since we are the product of our environment, we also change all the time.

When it’s a shift in the direction we didn’t hope for, it’s easy to go into frustration and anger. At certain times, that’s the best and healthiest thing to do. But often, we’d benefit much more from acceptance and allowance of the new situation. Witnessing its unfolding.

But that’s so easy to type out like this, and not so easy to practice when the right time comes.

The thing is, we put high expectations on ourselves.

We read all those books or content on self-development, fill our minds with hundreds of tactics on how to maintain balance, so when we lose our ground and perform less than what we thought we should, we get so critical towards ourselves. Then, we spice up everything with a little bit of shame. Or a lot of it.

‘How could I let myself get to this place if I have all the intellectual tools to prevent it? I should have done better.’

We’ve all been through so much. No matter under what sky you’ve been born, or your circumstances, we all carry a heavy burden. It doesn’t matter which one’s is heavier. We all carry the heaviest there is for us, at this moment.

I haven’t met every single one, but I’m pretty sure there isn’t a person on the planet that has it all figured out. And I’m not sure there is such a thing as ‘he’s having it much easier than I do’. Because everything has a price. And you often can’t even grasp the price tag of a certain thing before you actually get to call it your own.

Is there really such a thing as having it all figured out? That would mean that a person has gotten to a point where nothing ever changes in their life anymore.

But with so many variations of us, the things in nature, the abundance of art, music, creativity in all forms… can one really get to the point where not the slightest aspect of themselves gets to be changed ever again?

If that’s the case, why are we so hard on ourselves when our circumstances change something in us?

Is it because we attach our sense of self-worth with the ability to stay unaffected by the outside world?

But isn’t that the beauty of life? To be affected by the world around you? Because that proves our connectedness and ability of one.

It just happens that sometimes it’s a pleasant influence, and other times not so much.  

I’m not broken for losing clarity for a bit, and you’re not broken for falling off your course a little bit.

If anything, that means we’re doing something good, because we get to periodically test and re-evaluate what we’re doing with our time here.

We can’t be at our highest all the time, nor should we. Everything in nature moves in phases, so how come we expect of ourselves to always be in the summertime of our lives?

It is a gift. To stray away. Because with every drift we get to strengthen our vision. Although it might not get easier, each time we get more efficient in dealing with it and accepting it.

Find out what gets you back on the track and just do it until you feel like you’re where you belong.

What sparks your creativity and interest in life? What makes you forget about your troubles? What makes you feel gratitude for life without any intentional effort?

Do that. Lots of it.  

I’m feeling like sharing with you what got me back to myself today, after days of being all over the place. My morning routine is my number one go-to in these situations.

5 am wake-ups. A bit of grounding with some breathwork and light stretching. Early morning darkness illuminated with candles. A cup of black Turkish coffee. Journaling my heart out. Capturing moments. Being in my own energy and allowing my creativity to be whatever it needs to be.

It’s so simple and mundane that it’s hard to believe such a power lies within it. But it just does. : )

Sending love,

Julija

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