I was sitting here this morning thinking what to do with all this creative energy that is dying to be released for days but can’t seem to find a way to do so. I kept thinking about what am I doing wrong, what is it that I’m not seeing. Then it hit me – I keep creating for somebody else. I keep creating that which I think would be appreciated by others, instead of being guided by my feelings. Creation shouldn’t come from a place of gaining recognition from others, rather creating for yourself – only that which lights you up from the inside.
I had this idea of what professional photographs should look like – high shine, perfect composition, magazine-like photos. I was trying to recreate those perfect studio images thinking that is the path I have to take in order to become a successful photographer. All along I had a feeling something is not right and what I’m creating isn’t really me. I was focusing on what some imaginary potential client of mine would want to see from me and ignoring what I want to see from myself. But that is exactly what this whole journey is about – to express myself, not something that is already out there and is a representation of another creative being.
Honestly, I can’t believe I am still so much influenced by what will others think of my work and trying to create a certain type of art that is most suitable for someone like me. I don’t even know what that means, but somehow it’s one of the most dominant thoughts in my mind. It’s painful to know how easy it is to get lost in the majority – to lose touch with your own truth, vision, and self.
That’s why I decided I’m going to create for myself. My goal is to inspire myself firstly. To be my own muse. To have my own work spark motivation in me for even more beautiful manifestation. To enjoy life and grow into a better person. To become my own biggest fan, no matter how egocentric or narcissistic it may look to someone. Because only by truly loving and admiring your own work can others do the same. If what you create didn’t come from the place of your true self, it can’t resonate with somebody else’s true self.
Let me re-introduce myself: my name is Julija and my biggest inspiration in life is every little thing I create.